the ministry of motherhood

It's been so long since I have been able to write here. I have lots of inspiring lots,but not lots of time. Blogging is so different than a diary or journal for me,I can't explain it. I miss reading all the wonderful blogs and posts that I used too read. I think of you ladies often though. So keep us in your prayers. I'll update on us first,then write some from my heart.

I'm 23 weeks today. It is literally flew by. I am 5 1/2 months and it just doesn't seem possible. I am doing well too! I went to Cindy last Wednesday and was accompanied by the lady I'll use as a Doula ( used Cindy and Tammy both last pregnancy). It was a good visit! I have only gained 8 lbs overall,which is surprising. I know it's due to being more active,drinking hardly any soda or tea,and not eating sweets all the time. At the month with Daniel I had gained nearly 15-20 already. I don't walk as often as I need too,but I do stay active with Daniel. I really need to walk,but it is SO hot down here. Yuk! When we did the ultrasound to find out the sex, it took them longer than I thought it would. I wasn't sure why,but this appointment I found out why. Aaron is breech,about the same way Daniel was,lying across my uterus. It's called a transverse position. Cindy said most babies will do this up until time to deliver and most do turn if they are able. She isn't alarmed,but wanted me to know. I have already started doing some exercises to affect the positioning. By 26 weeks if he is still that way, she wants me to get on my hands and knees for 20 minutes 5 times a day. I'll do what I can,but God has the rest in His hands. Although I do not want another C-section,if Aaron does like Daniel,then we won't have a choice. Daniel was trying to turn to go into the birth canal,but got stuck. Not on my pelvis though. There is nothing wrong my with body,it was just bad positioning of the baby. It won't be a scheduled C-section if it comes to that. I'll go into labor just like with Daniel and labor to see if he can turn. Then, if he doesn't we'll do a C-section,only after every possible way to turn him. I want more children and a C-section will diminish that. Here in the South, they aren't big on many babies after a C-section,or multiple ones and VBAC's aren't common that I know of. Just keep us in your prayers,we're not worried,God is in control!! Onto Daniel- He is doing good! He's almost 17 months and so smart! He's growing and learning everyday,it's so amazing to watch! He is picking up new words daily and trying to say them. He really understands a lot and mimicks what we do. He'll throw things in the garbage,try to brush his hair,brush his teeth,put his socks and shoes on,put diapers in the Genie, and other things. He is so darn cute too! He's my heartbeat! He knows where the baby is and we call him Baby Aaron so he will pick up on it. When he hears someone say baby he rubs my tummy and kisses it. He's going to love having a brother to play and rough house with. Mike is good too. He's just been working a lot. We have somethings to get paid and somethings to buy before Aaron gets here. We still have to get a vehicle and have been praying God would guide us to it. We are still trying to help my parents out financially and keep ourselves afloat. He's such a wonderful husband! He works hard at his job and at home. Daniel loves him so much! It's sweet to watch! Tomorrow will be his 2nd Father's Day! He has off so we are going to church and then come home to spend the rest of the day. I love him so much and I am so GLAD he is my husband and the Father of my children. Be praying for my parents. My Daddy goes to a really good Doc. next Friday, I pray they find the root of his problems instead of trying to aleve them. Momma is doing good and can eat some actually. My sister just told us she is pregnant again! Their son,Landon, is 2 1/2 and she'll be due about February! They are excited! My parents are going to get lots of Grandbabies! My brother lil' boy is almost 2 months now! It's crazy! Mike's family are doing good too,just out for the summer. His Dad got laid off at work a few months back,so be praying for them also.

So now, a little from my heart. I was thinking today while out running some errands about being a Mother and having a family. I never thought this could be a ministry,how naive of me. I also envisioned going to a far off land to reach and teach others about Christ. That was my passion and it still is one of my passions,but not on the top of the list anymore. I desired to be a wife,but really didn't know the depth of it. I really never desired to be a Mother,due to fear of pregnancy,birth,and just being responsible for another human being. Now, that I am a Mother,I love it. I would not trade Daniel and soon to be here,Aaron, for anything. I never thought at age 26 I would have a 17 month old and be 5 1/2 months pregnant. You could have never convinced me of that. I thought I would be married in the mission field or unmarried in the mission field. I have a mission field, it is called my home. I firmly believe the highest calling for women is being a wife and a Mother. I know some aren't able to have biological children,but you still are a Mother if you adopt. If you don't adopt someone looks up to you and you can mold some one's life and heart. My first priority is to encourage,uplift,and love my husband,along with many others things. My second priority is to disciple,teach,and guide my children. What an honor. I have 2 lives,as of right now, that I can plant the Word of God in and no one can limit me on it. No one can tell me I cannot teach them the Word of God and about Christ. Isn't that what we believers yearn for? Someone to teach about Christ without being limited on how much you can teach them? We, Mothers, have that. How awesome! I want little boys after God's own heart and I want them to be Warriors for the kingdom of God! I have the privilege of staying home with them and helping them achieve those things. I just never looked at it that way. I was so naive to think I had to go all the way across the globe (which I still want to do so and I'm not diminishing that) to reach others for Christ. I have 2 children that I can do that with and it's just amazing. I'm not saying if you have small children you shouldn't go overseas,no no. I would love to be there now! BUT God hasn't called us to that point. He has us here in Mobile,AL growing and raising our children. I love to hear of families who are evangelizing or are missionaries!! I deep down would love that for us,but God hasn't got that in His plan for us, as of now. So don't take what I have said the wrong way. I'm just relaying what I have realized for myself. I always thought I had to do the "big things" in order to being doing something for God. The big thing for me was going overseas or to another country. I thought if I could do that,I'll be doing something amazing for God. And that's so true,but I failed to realize many women do amazing things and they are overlooked. Changing diapers,feeding the baby,rocking the baby,doing laundry,ironing clothes,cooking,and so on may not be looked at as doing things for God,but you are,we are! In serving your family, you are serving God. He says what you have done to the least of these, you have done to me. He talks about serving others all thought the scripture. He came to serve,not to be served. Why would you serve others,but not your family? Why would you teach a Bible study,but not take care of your children? Why would you cook meals for the elderly or sick, and not your family? I thought I had to be doing those things too. I felt sort of left out when Daniel was first born,well about 5 months after he was. I wasn't involved in the women's ministry like I wanted. I finally realized at this point in my life it is okay. I don't have to be running around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to keep up with ministries I once was involved in. My little ones need me dearly right now. They'll always need me,but at this point in their life they need me more. It's about having a daily relationship with Christ,not how many ministries you are involved in. We are to show our children how to walk daily with God and to follow His ways. Your little ones,will only be little once. Enjoy them and tend to them. You'll be blessed and so will they. It's just amazing how God can open your eyes and it not be the way you expected Him too. And how He will change your desires and wants too. I love Him for those things. He shows us so many things in the unexpected ways. Some days I could go nuts taking care of Daniel. He is energetic and sometimes gets into things though he knows not too,but without Daniel my life would be much more boring. Daniel makes my life more fulfilling. He is our legacy,along with Aaron. It's great to know we have someone to pass our faith onto. So that's just somethings I've been pondering lately.

I pray everyone is great! God Bless!

Happy Mother's Day!

My other angle on the way,16 weeks.

Daniel was so tired on the way home from church.

How precious!!

This was my second Mother's Day. Wow, I'm a Mother. It is still sinking into my little brain. What a blessing it is to be a Mother. I never dreamed I'd have children at the age of 24 and love it! Daniel is such a blessing. He's so adorable,sweet,loving,and funny. I don't know what I would do without him. I remember the days before him,but can't imagine life without him now. Oh and my other little one on the way. I am truly blessed. I'll have another little boy or a little girl that I can train in God's word,shower with love,and laugh with. I really never understand a Mother's love,until now. It has really shed a new light on the love God has for me. It's amazing and indescribable. I don't see how God turned his back on Jesus while he took our sin upon him and died on the cross. What a bittersweet occasion. I could never give my children up for others. I would do and do anything for Daniel and the baby. Daniel is at an amazing age. He's learning so much and teaching me so much. As I sit here writing,he's at my feet playing with his ABC magnets and a box,talking away. How can people harm these innocent angels?

I used to want to be in the law firm,then I wanted to do overseas missions. I still want to do mission work,but I've realized a lot. I have the greatest job,if you want to call it that, in the world. I am teaching Daniel to be kind,loving,caring,respectful,and gentle. I am modeling what his wife should be like,a Godly wife/mother. I could have possibly be going down another road right now,if I would have listened to my own will. I could possibly be in a foreign country with no husband or children. Oh what I would be missing! My passion to reach others has turned to reaching my own son and baby on the way. It's funny how God will mold you,but not mold you how you expect Him too. You pray mold me,Lord and use me. Most of the time He does it in a way you would never believe.

The Proverbs 31 Woman takes on a whole new meaning for me. Especially verse 28, "Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. " I pray my children will be able to arise and call me blessed one day. A lot of my views on things have changed. You really never know that love until you are giving that love. I have a picture frame above our bed that says, "Love grows by giving. The only love we keep is the love we give away." How true that is. Love also never stops giving. I wouldn't trade anything for the smiles Daniel gives me,even in the womb. One of the ultrasound pictures we have of him, he is smiling so big! It's amazing!! And he still has that same grin that we love. I thank God for allowing me to be a Mother. I'm not worthy of the calling,nor do I deserve such wonderful children,but He has entrusted them to Mike and I.

As for my second Mother's Day. It was wonderful! We went to church,enjoyed a powerful message,then came home. We picked up some Churches chicken and ate at home. It was nice. I received 2 books: 5 Minutes A Day:365 Devotional For Women and Pray Big For Your Child: The Power of Praying God's Promises for Your Child's Life by Will Davis Jr. Next year I'll have my 2 year old and 7 month old baby to celebrate with! How exciting and rewarding. Oh no one could make a paycheck out enough for the rewards I receive daily. Moms are paid with hugs and kisses. That's what I have learned most about being a Mother, my reward isn't earthly,but heavenly. How amazing!

Happy Mother's Day to all you Momma's and Momma's to be!! God Bless you!

To spank or not to spank?

I just read CWO article on spanking and wanted to share something I was sent a few months ago along with the CWO article.

He started out with this verse:

24He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.
Proverbs 13:24

A noted child and family psychologist says spanking a child can be an effective form of discipline, despite a recent study that states otherwise.

A new report titled "A Violent Education: Corporal Punishment of Children in U.S. Public Schools" shows that more than 200,000 children received corporal punishment in U.S. schools. Texas accounted for the majority of the cases, although 21 U.S. states allow the use of corporal punishment. The study was conducted by Humans Rights Watch and the American Civil Liberties Union.

According to a Reuters article on the study, "liberal groups regard corporal punishment as a barbaric relic of an unenlightened past that harms self-esteem and promotes violence." But Dr. Bill Maier, vice president and psychologist in residence with Focus on the Family, has a different perspective.

"Appropriate disciplinary spanking, done in the context of a loving parent-child relationship, is not abusive," he states.

Although Maier says Focus on the Family does not take a position on the use of spanking in school, he does say the practice has positive results when used properly in one's home.

"If it's done in a loving context, if it's followed up by an explanation, there is no evidence that it would harm their self-esteem," he explains. "In fact, we have some evidence that kids who grow up in an extremely permissive environment, in which there are no boundaries, no limits, and no guidelines, ...have a great deal of difficulty with their self-esteem -- and particularly later on in life, because they have such a sense of entitlement that basically the world owes them everything on a silver platter."

Dr. Maier also referenced the American College of Pediatricians, which has done extensive studies on the subject of spanking one's child. In a study posted on its website, the group agrees that disciplinary spanking of young children is an effective tool for parents.


Here is the CWO article:

Question: Hi Candace, I have a question for you. What "discipline" technique do you employ or recommend? I too am a Christian. However, I am quite concerned that many people who want to follow Jesus' teachings are misled. Jesus went against many of the practices that are laid out in the Old Testament. He was a pacifist. Why is it then that Christian parents are taught to hurt their children when it’s clearly not what Jesus taught?
The reason that I ask is because on Kirk's site he promotes the book and videos of Shepherding a Child's Heart, and your forum also talks about the book.
The book demands that the child be hit each time they do something that the parents object to, even when a baby cries about having their diaper changed!

Page 154 “Rebellion can be something as simple as an infant struggling against a diaper change or stiffening his body when you want him to sit on your lap. The discipline procedure is the same as laid out above. You have no way of knowing how much a child a year old or less can understand of what you say, but we do know that understanding comes long before the ability to articulate does….When our oldest child was approximately 8 months old….Obviously he was old enough to be disciplined.”

"Spanking" is a cutesy word for hitting. If an employer spanks his employee he would be arrested.I respect you and wanted your insight--I couldn't ask Kirk about it because he doesn't have this type of forum.

Answer: First I would suggest that parents read Shepherding a Child's Heart for themselves and come to their own conclusion. You pulled an excerpt that sounds misleading. When read in the context of the whole chapter—and the entire book—you would see that there is absolutely, without question, NO abuse. That excerpt was simply talking about our defiant nature—even as young as a baby. It DIDN’T go on to say they should be spanked for not wanting their diaper changed.
A spanking is NEVER done in anger or in rage. It is a loving correction done with explanation and prayer to simply teach a child right from wrong. And please understand that a spanking is not the first resort. When a child is asked to do something and defiantly refuses, it is then that they would be lovingly corrected. As small children, often a second asking is good—something like, "Sara, Mommy asked you to put your toy in the basket." If not responded to again, then correction would be appropriate.

Do you ever have to teach your child to say, "NO! That's MINE! Gimme!"? Of course not. That is the sin nature we are all born with—a selfish, defiant attitude. We have to teach our children to share, to be kind, and unselfish. The Bible fully supports "the rod of correction," but again, never in abuse, anger or for a parent's selfish reasons to control his children.
Jesus did not come against the teachings of the Old Testament, but He fulfilled the "Law," and the practices that the law entailed. We must keep in mind that Jesus is the same God “Yesterday, today and forever.”

I discipline my children by spanking when the situation calls for it. Once a toddler is walking around and getting into things, a slap on the hand is one way they respond to correction. It shouldn't hurt as much as be a surprise, and discomfort to them. This prepares them that the word NO comes with a consequence. Once my children were around 18 months old, and we knew that they could understand our instruction, they were spanked on the bottom if they disobeyed. As my children grow older, we find more creative ways to discipline, allowing the punishment to fit the crime. These types of disciplines are effective and biblical when done in love. It is the responsibility of all parents to teach and train their children.

I sincerely hope you would read Shepherding a Child's Heart in its entirety. The title is so appropriate, because it is a WONDERFUL book that in no way teaches us to abuse our children. It's all about getting to the heart of the matter and guiding them to understanding Godly submission.

Of the 19 chapters in this book, only one is dedicated to "the rod" even explaining common objections.

I hope this has shed some light on my view.

P.S. I also read an interesting article that Dr. James Dobson wrote for Focus on the Family titled, "To Spank or Not to Spank." In it He writes: "Contrary to what you have read in popular literature, this firm but loving approach to child rearing will not harm a toddler or make him violent. To the contrary, it is most likely to produce a healthy, confident child."

So what are you views,opinions,or experiences with disciplining,training,or correcting a child? I'd love to hear,because we are in that process right now.

North Korean Christians

North Korea is one of the most evil countries on earth. They are probably the most hostile towards Christians. I got my VOM magazine in the mail this week and started reading it this morning as I was eating breakfast. The magazine this month is focusing on North Korea and our brothers and sisters there. I was reading a story about Choi Yong Jin (not her real name). She was a worshipper of the leader there until a man gave her a Bible. She begin to read it and realized where life really came from,Jesus Christ. Of course the authorities found out about her "spy" endeavor,as they call it. She was taken to prison and beaten brutally. She then had a trial and was found not guilty,but of course things are never what they seem. She had a second trial and was so brutally beaten that her face was paralyzed and she couldn't talk,so they sentenced her 15 years in prison. She prayed and prayed there. She was beaten everyday badly. Her husband finally got enough money to "bail" her out. She escaped to China and now volunteers for VOM. She said that she hasn't forgotten her people. Continue to pray her for and the Christians in North Korea. Also pray for the non-Christians because they are so deceived by the authorities there.

As I read this and looked at the pictures of North Korean Christians, I asked God this question. 'Why them Lord? Why not us?' But I didn't get a response. I mean I'm no better than these people,we are equal,but I am the one who isn't persecuted as they are. I can say Jesus,have a Bible,and go to church with no problem. I then asked, 'Why aren't they free,but we are?' I got an answer this time. God spoke to me and said 'They are free,more so than you are.' I stopped what I was doing and I knew what He meant. What He said is very true. It's sad,but true. I looked at the picture of believers secretly takin communion. It shouldn't be that way! We take communion like once a year and we think it's wonderful and we're holy. But do we even really know what it means? We face little to no persecution here in the United States. Are we truly ready if something that like came here? We are so free physically to do as we please,but I don't think we are free spiritually like we should be. Ah, I crave to be like them! Those Christians who literally will DIE to have one ripped page from the Bible! They will worship Jesus at no cost! In contrast it does costs them something. It costs them their family sometimes. It costs them their belongings sometimes. It costs them their life most of the time. But to them nothing is more important than their Lord Jesus Christ. Why don't the American Christians get it? Why are we so much like the Israelites? We love the Lord one day and the next we don't. I'm not talking in general here,I'm talking to myself and everyone who reads this blog. We worry so much about our homes,our cars,our make-up,our clothes,our t.v.'s,and so on. We truly do not crave Jesus like those Christians who are persecuted do. My heart still burns for the persecuted and those who do not know the Lord. But I've hardened my heart towards America in many ways. They do not want the Gospel of Jesus or anything to do with God. They have enough things to "fill" them up. I get so angry because we are so selfish,self-absorbed,and spoiled! Even myself! When I came back from Honduras, I was changed. I did not want to be how I was. I did not want to just forget the hunger I saw in the Hondurian people for Jesus. They didn't even know who he was,but when they found out that he died on a cross for them they were overjoyed! They craved him. What happend to me? Why have I went back to what I was and how I was? It took a few years to get there,but I'm here. I'm the epitomy of the American people. Oh,but wait! I read my Bible,I pray,I go to church,I bless my food,I don't cuss,I don't smoke,hey I don't even drink alcohol! Is that good enough? Is that truly the only thing God wants from me? I know the answer is no. I don't have to pray 24/7,but why can't I be more thankful? Why can't I be more gracious to others? Why can't I be more kind? Why can't I look more like Jesus did?

Not only do I have myself to worry about now,I have a son. I have a precious little boy who does not know what t.v. is,does not know about clothes,or his appearance. I do not want Daniel to be self-absorbed. I do not want Daniel to even care about cartoons! I want Daniel to crave God's Word from the time he can really talk and understand what I am saying. I want him to love God and want to worship Him with his lifestyle! I want Daniel to be so bold for Christ that he is not afraid to do things different from other boys,youth,or young men! I want him to know about the persecuted church and how free physically we are. I want Daniel to be like Jeremiah when he said the Word was like a fire in his bones! I want Daniel to proclaim the Word of God to the brokenhearted,the blind,the prisoner! I want Daniel to see how blessed he is,not because he has a t.v. or toys,but because he can speak the name of Jesus in public and that he can take his Bible where he wants. I want Daniel to be empowered with the Word of God at a very young age,unlike my husband and I. I don't want Daniel to be 15 or 19 and just figuring out he has power over the enemy through the blood of Jesus or that God can heal him because it says in Isaiah 53:5 by your strips I am healed! No, I want Daniel to be like the Old Testament Daniel,hence why we picked the name. Our children are so precious and important! I can't wait to have a little girl who cares nothing about Hannah Montana or Barbies,but craves the Word of God. Who wants to be like Queen Esther or Ruth. Oh God, have mercy on our children! Grant them desires that we do not have! Give them the eyes to see what we do not!

Father, please forgive me for I do know what I do. I am sorry! I am selfish and ungrateful! I am self-absorbed! I am spoiled and I am not grateful! I say I am! But I'm NOT! I am no better than those who hung you on the cross and spat in your face! I am wretched and I need YOU! Not once,but every day,every mintue,every second, I need you,Jesus!