This is going to be an open,honest,raw entry. I don't do those much. I just don't feel like posting them on bloop. So I'll use this for this type of thing also.
Does anyone else struggle with wondering why somethings are the way they are? I do sometimes and it just gets to me. I read about other couples who can go on vacations,buy this or buy that,and can do things we just simply cannot. I'd love to be able to go on mini vacations with my husband and son. I would love to be able to live in a house or nicer apartment. I would love to be able to go buy really nice things for Daniel. I'd love to have Daniel a nursery and room of his own. I'd love to be able to just load up and take trips with no thought of where the money would come from. I have sort of come to grips that we may never have "extra" money. Mike says for me not to think that way. But do you think sometimes that is God's will for ones live? To not have those types of things ever.
I don't just want to do the above things. I'd love to be able to give my parents money when they are struggling. I'd love to be able to give more money to ministries and missionaries. We know several missionaries that need support finanacially. I just don't understand. It's like everytime we get on our feet,something knocks us back off. It is really discouraging. I'd also love to be able to buy my husband things he desires. I don't get jealous in the sense that I hate that person kind of way. It's just I think why can't that be us? Why can't we have "extra" money? We tithe how we should and we try to give money when we have it to other causes. It's just rare. We don't have many bills,but it seems our money goes quickly each check. I dream of a lot of things,but I don't think they will ever happen. I guess I just can't see the light at the end of the tunnel.
I do realize that I am blessed. I am blessed to have a loving family and in-laws. I am blessed to have a loving husband and a precious son. I know I have a roof over my head,clothes on my back,and plenty of food in my pantry. I am blessed to not have any kind of illness or disease. I am blessed that my husband nor my son has any illness or disease either. So it's not like I feel I could have a better life. I just struggle with not having the money to do the things I talked about. Is that wrong? I hope not. I rarely talk about my struggles. It's just hard too. It's hard too because I know I am blessed in other areas. I guess I'm just being human and carnal. We all are. I just feel I need to be strong for family and friends. I feel sometimes,as if, I have to not let peole see me when I'm discouraged or struggling. I don't know why I'm this way,but it only gets worse with age. So here I am being raw and real. I struggle. I'm human. I just need to not set my eyes on the things of this earth as Colossians 3:1-2 says.
Thanksgiving Pictures
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We had a wonderful Thanksgiving! This is all of the pictures,but it's the
best ones! Daniel had fun with his cousins,Grandparents,Aunts,and Uncles.
Aaron j...
16 years ago
8 comments:
Oh Heather, I completely understand - I have such a hard time admitting when I'm struggling with something too. I feel like I always have to look like I'm completely confident and in control and content and all the rest - it's so hard to share my weaknesses with others.
I too sometimes struggle with wondering why some things are the way they are - why are things one way for some people and another way for other people, no matter what sort of people they are or how hard they try to change it. Oddly enough, I often find reading Ecclesiastes to be a comfort in this regard.
IT's funny to me that you struggle, because I admire your life so much. It seems to me that you have such a picture perfect life. I would love to have a life like yours! I think it's just our human nature to want what we can't have. But you know your blessings and that is a wonderful thing, because a lot of people take their blessings for granted.
I struggle a lot with wondering about things to, but not so much money. I do wonder about money, but more than that I long for a complete family, a husband and a father to my girls.
I have similar struggles Heather. Its hard to understand why other's seem to have it so easy. Then again you never know what goes on behind closed doors.
There's nothing wrong with letting others know that you are struggling. I believe that your struggles can uplift others who are in the same predicament. They realize there not alone.
It can also be just a matter of perspective. I remember when I heard someone say something about my brother and sister-in-law having a lot of money because they own their own business and had several houses at the time.
The truth is that they had been very wise with their money but they didn't have extra to go on vacations or buy new clothes or toys for the kids or even get groceries on any kind of regular basis!
The person that made the comment was a girl who was always buying new clothes and new toys for her children, they have a swimming pool and go on vacation every year!
It just seems funny sometimes to think about how others see your life versus how you see your own.
One of the hardest lessons the Lord has been teaching me over the years is not to view my supply based on the numbers in my checkbook. In other words, He's been teaching me to trust that He is my supply. If He chooses to entrust me with 2 dollars a month or 2,000, that's up to HIM. My part is not to worry (easier said than done I've found for me anyway), to worship Him and to be the best manager I can be of what He's entrusted to me. For me it's easier to "see" His supply when there's more numbers in the checkbook balance. But when there's zero, or like my husband informed me this morning, "there's only that much in here....I need to pay the mortgage!" I start to get worried and wonder if I'm doing something wrong or what.
He reminds me to seek His kingdom first- the building up of souls following Christ- and He'll care for my needs and even my wants.
Bless you for sharing your struggles and for your sweet comments on my blog!
Glad to meet you...I'll be back :)
Sheila
Thank you for your comment. I totally understand struggling especially with money. My husband and I are both in school and we work only part-time. It's difficult because sometimes we realize if we had waited to be married we could have done a lot more things than we can afford right now. But I know one day we will graduate and while we will probably never be rich, we will enjoy life. That is what is really important. It's easy to get discouraged. Just keep praying about it.
Heather,
First, I wanted to thank you for stopping by The Well today. I am thrilled that you were able to stop and visit for a while. I'd love to answer some of your questions. If you don't mind, could you send me your email? Just shoot me an email with yours to chelseyhall@gmail.com and I'll respond to your questions! :)
I wanted to tell you as well, that I know your struggles first hand. Being the wife of a minister turned public school teacher, our income is not very big.
On a practical side have you heard of Dave Ramsey?? His book Total Money Makeover is incredible. If you are interested in it, let me know I might have an extra copy. This has helped us more than I could have ever imagined when it comes to finances.
Oh, and about the Well. You asked how you could join in. If you go back to my blog and look on the right hand side, you'll see the At the Well stuff. Click on the one that says intro and it will tell you all about it. Just come back each Monday and you can join us.
It was great to "meet" you! :)
Heather, I just want to thank you for your honesty and openess here. Struggles are a real part of all our lives, even when we don't admit that they are there. It's hard to let others know our struggles, but by doing so we are not only showing our humanity, but also our humility.
James 4:10 says this...Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up. (NKJV)
God can take our weakness and struggles and turn them into something that lifts not only us up, but also Him.
Psalm 149:4 says this...For the LORD takes pleasure in His people;He will beautify the humble with salvation. (NKJV)
God, our very Heavenly Father, takes pure pleasure and joy in us. Those who humble themselves will reap the benefits of God's protective hand over us.
So be encouraged my dear, God sees this humility. He knows your desires, your questions and your struggles. He hears and has something very specific planned for your family. And who knows, around that next bend in your journey may await something much bigger and better than you could ever imagine. (Ephesians 3:20)
*hugs*
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