created to be his help meet

I've been reading Created To Be His Help Meet: Discover how God can make your marriage glorious by Debi Pearl. I am really getting a lot out of it. I have a good marriage and I think I'm a good wife,but there areas where I lack. With God's grace I want to improve in those areas. Can I be perfect? No,but I can strive to be. I believe that's what God wishes for us to do. She is very blunt and straight forward with her words in this book. I suggest it to the married or unmarried woman definately. I believe it is something that needs to be said in our society and the day we live in.

She starts out by talking about what a help meet is and how God designed us to be one for our husbands. In the opening chapter she quotes this verse: "And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him." Genesis 2:18 and then this verse: "Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD." Proverbs 18:22. She goes on to say this: "If you are a wife,you were created to fill a need, and in that capacity you are a "good thing", a helper suited to the needs of a man. This is how God created you and it is your purpose for existing. You are,by nature, equipped in every way to be your man's helper. You are inferior to noone as long as you function within your created nature,for no man can do your job, and no man is complete without his wife. You were created to make him complete,not to seek personal fulfillment parallel to him. A woman trying to function like a man is as ridiculous as a man trying to be like a woman. A unisex society is a sensless society- a society dangerously out of order." - Pearl

She talks about a lot of stuff between chapter one and the chapter that I'll be talking about here. I wanted to talk about her chapter called Wisdome to Understand Your Man-A wise woman learns to adapt to her husband. She starts off by talking about how men are not the same and they are not perfect. Now, she isn't downing them,but is trying to help us understand God made them and we need to allow them to function how God wants them too instead of how we want them too. She goes on to talk about how many times a young woman has pre-conceived notions of what our husbands will be like and that often isn't the case. I love these 2 statements: Wisdom is knowing what you "bought" when you married that man, and learning to adapt to him as he is,not as you want him to be. ; God gives imperfect woman to imperfect men so they can be heirs together of the grace of life and become something more together than either one of them would ever be alone.

She talks about 3 types of men in this chapter and it is just amazing. I picked out the type in which my husband is most dominant after reading a few paragraphs. I even could see the type in which my Daddy and brother were most dominant. She really hit the nail on the head with this subject. God definately gave her some insight and wisdom. The 3 types of men she describes are these: Mr. Command,Mr. Visionary,and Mr. Steady. I want to talk about the one I see Mike being most dominant in,Mr. Visionary.

Mike is not sensitive,compassionate(with others), or good with words. He is very blunt,honest,and rough around the edges. He is always the joker and making everyone laugh (mostly me ha!). He loves confrontation and deals with it well. He's not a romantic at heart either. He is very much a man in all ways. That isn't bad,it's just different. I cannot expect him to be just like me or even similiar,he is supposed to be different. God designed him one way and designed me another way. He did so, that we may bring different traits and qualities to our marriage to balance it out. I can either embrace the things I wrote about that Mike is or isn't or I can be appalled at them. Both have an end and it's my choice to choose. I believe it is my calling to embrace them. I don't need to try to change him. If I see things that I think could use some working on, I should first ask God to show me the things that need working on in myself,then pray for those things in my husband I see that could be worked on. It talks about in Matthew 7:3-5 seeing the beam in your own eye before you change or take out the mote in your brothers eye. Most people today would think how ridiculous. I mean my husband does this or that,what I do is not near as bas as what he does. Argue with the Word,not me. We,as women, should seek to be the help meet God wants us to be and that includes seeing the ugly in ourselves so God can work it out. Our husbands need us,even if your husband doesn't act it or show it,he needs you. Our husbands need our support,love,respect,submission,thankfulness,and so on.

Ok,back to Mike. When I read the section on Mr. Visionary I was stunned. At first, I wasn't sure about this book. Like I said, I had a good marriage and I was a good wife. I still believe I am,but I can be a lot better (and it's common sense things that trip me up).

I'll give some highlights of Mr. Visionary:
-They love confrontation and hate the status quo.
-He is the "voice crying out in the wilderness" striving to change the way humanity is behaving or thinking.
-He may never be rich in money, but he will be rich in experience.
-He is the one who seeks out hypocrisy and injustice and slays the dragons; he calls himself and those around him to a higher standard.
-He is always thinking of things to invent or how to do things differently.
-He is an initiator and provoker. He is a point man,trailblazer, and a voice to get things done.
-His focus is so intense that matters can easily be blown out of proportion.
-He is not equipped to be a comforter-to himself or anyone else.
-He can be a leader,but because he has tunnel vision his leadership will have a more narrow focus.

Those are just very few of the things she says. I said wow,this is where Mike is most dominant. He is always telling me 'Baby, I'm gonna invent this so we don't have to do that.' and so on. He loves to tell me about his new ideas or thoughts. He's always dreaming of something better and is always pushing others to be different. And does he love confrontation? Yes. Not so much fighting it out,but he wants to be able to go to confrontation and try to take care of it. Thus, is why he loved being a Sheriff Deputy in our small hometown in Mississippi. He would go to domestics to save whoever needed to be saved. Like I said before he's not very compassionate. He is rough around the edges too. That's why God gave him me. I'm a lady,I'm feminine,I'm soft around the edges. I help him soften up where he needs it and he helps me roughen up where I need it. It's God's pefect plan,marriage. My sweet man, he's not a romantic either. He tries though and it surely does count. I could complain that I don't get flowers,cards,or big suprises. He often forgets things and when he does remember he does the best he can. I hear 'I love you!' everyday so many times a day. I hear 'You are so beautiful,Heather.' I hear how much he is blessed to be my husband and for me to be the mother of his son. I hear him pray and thank God for me being a Godly wife. A lot of women never hear I love you. So I think I can take that for romance,huh?

Where he lacks,he makes up in other areas. And that is something we have to look at it. Don't you think that our husbands see flaws in us? I know my husband does,because I see them all too often. He doesn't constantly point them out,though sometimes I know he would love too. Whether your husband does point out flaws or not, it is our job as women,wives,and help meets to be who God intended for us to be. We are to love our husband,submit to our husbands,and help our husbands. We aren't to cut them down,nag them, or think evil thoughts toward them. When we do these things, we should repent and apologize. Is it easy? No,who said it would be,but we should put away our pride and do it anyway.

She goes on to talk about the Proverbs 31 woman. That is really good. My toes really hurt too (you'll catch that, hopefully). It is time that women (all,but especially Christian) get back to what God designed us to be and how He designed us to act. Our society is wasting away. I don't know who started it,but I do know it started when we started taking God out of our lives and replacing Him with other things. Our little girls need to see Godly examples of wives and mothers and so do our little boys. We can't point the finger at our husbands,we just need to get right with God and begin functioning how God designed and start praying for others. I'll be coming back to write more on this.

If you can get a copy of this book, I really suggest it. Here is the website for it: http://www.createdtobehishelpmeet.org/