Michael Aaron is here!

Thursday I started having contractions early in the morning around 3 that were getting a pattern to them. For the last few days it had been off and on with contractions,but nothing staying consistent at all. I had an appointment with Cindy that morning at 10 and was hoping something would start happening soon! I just was ready to start labor and have my Aaron here! When Cindy checked me she said I was at 2 cnm and very soft. She said it won't be long and she expected him by the weekend! Contractions were getting stronger and more consistent too. When we got home I ate a good meal and tried to lay down. I could't sleep or lay through the contractions though. So I got in the shower and then I let Tammy know I wanted her to come down that afternoon. I was so hungry too,I think I ate like 5 different small meals before 7 that night! I was drinking so much water that I was peeing so much too. It was very different from my labor with Daniel. I think Tammy checked me around 5 or so and I was at 5 cnm and Aaron was still looking to my right. The contractions really started coming on then. Wow. I definitely remembered what they felt like and that these were the real thing. The back labor was horrible. Tammy and Mike would put pressure on my back during them and I just breathed through them. It was bad though. Daniel was playing and not paying me-in pain- any attention. We let Robyn know we would need her that night and to be ready to come. No position really helped with the contractions. I would just lean over the bar and they would press on my back while I breathed through them and prayed God please help me. I think it was around 9 that Tammy checked me again and I was at 7 cnm with a good size bag of water. I was starting to get chills by this time and Tammy said to let Robyn know to come on down so we could get going to the hospital. So we got the last minute things together and Daniel was asleep by now. I just don't remember how he got there,I know Mike did it,but I was so focused I can't remember even now. Oh the contractions were getting harder and harder. Robyn made it there by 10 and we ended up leaving about 11 or so. Thank goodness the ride there wasn't that bad and that we live like 15 minutes from USA. They got me right in a room and Cindy was on her way too. I got changed and they had me signing different things and going over my birth plan. Our nurse,Mary Ellen, was great too! She came in once when I was in labor with Daniel I remember. They didn't do an immediate IV,but whatever that is they put in your hand so in case they need one for emergency. By this time I was beginning to vocalize and internalize. It was really weird too. Cindy made it in like 20-30 minutes,she lives about 30-40 minutes from USA. She told us she knew we'd be coming back so she took a nap and filled up her gas tank. A little later she wanted to check me and see how things were. I was at like 8 cnm,but some cervix was still in the way they kept saying. He had turned back completely posterior too. I don't remember everything from this point. I was very focused on contractions and just making it through them. I'm telling you if women did remember the pain of them I don't think the world would be populated as much. They hurt so bad. Cindy checked again sometime and broke my water by accident. Wow, I had a lot too. After that happened, it took like 45 minutes and I started having strong urges to push. They would check me during that and it actually didn't feel too bad. Some cervix was still in the way,but they thought getting me in different positions would help it move and Aaron to come down more. They could actually see his head and that he had dark hair! I was so excited and just knew I was going to have him soon! So I got on the birthing stool some,squatted some,did hands and elbows on the bed,and walked some. MY goodness the urge to push was crazy. I never had that sort of urge with Daniel. I was feeling pressure from his head too somewhere. When they told me to get on my hands and elbows or chest I told them I just can't do that. Well, I did with their help,but my gosh it was hard. They had to put pressure on my back too,it was so painful. I then laid on my back and pulled my knees up so they could check me. All 3 of them did,but the cervix just wasn't moving. They all really thought I would have him vaginally,you could hear it in their voice and see it on their face. Tammy told me once, "Heather, you'll have Aaron in your arms soon." I thought thank God,this hurts! I pushed for about 2 hours I think. I was starting to swell down there,but not to the point of danger. Mike was doing great too. He kept encouraging me,but it was very hard for him to see me in that sort of pain. They let him see Aaron's head and he was amazed. But he said he thought they were going to kill me when they were checking me trying to figure out why the cervix wouldn't move. When they figured out he just wasn't coming they got another nurse to come in and check me. Tammy told me I'm so sorry Heather,but your pubic bone is flat he isn't going to come out with his size and position. I mean what else was there to do? I had labored almost 10 hours hard. Cindy suggested 2 things: We could try an epi so I could rest some and mabye he would turn or we could just go with a c/s. They both said there was no promising he would turn and it would work,but we could try. So Cindy and Mary Ellen left the room,while Tammy stayed in there with us. I wanted to cry so bad,but I was hurting so bad and pushing so hard I couldn't. I thought all my labor and hard work,but not the outcome again I wanted and really everyone expected this time. Tammy and Cindy got pretty emotional when they were telling me that we had to do one of the two options. The whole time there they kept telling me how good I was doing and how I was a great laboring woman. Like I said up till about 3 or 4 they had no clue it wasn't going to work vaginally. It was pretty much a shock to them all I think and upsetting. Mike said he would rather go with the c/s and Tammy said she thought that would be best. I thought about it and I didn't want to continue to push and damage myself (I had no clue at the time my uterus was torn to pieces) only to end up with a c/s,but not be awake. So I said let's get a spinal and do the c/s. I knew I had done all I could do,I really did. Why it did not work out I have no clue. I have asked God and no answer,I may never get one. But I can feel good that I did try and I stuck with my convictions even though it hurt like heck. I would do it all over again too,even knowing the outcome. That doesn't mean it doesn't hurt though. Once I made that decision I wanted relief and I wanted it now. I didn't get mean,but I kept asking when they were going to stop the pain. Finally, about 30 minutes later they got me to the surgery room. Those contractions were right on top of each other too,I know I scared some people. I wasn't screaming,but I was moaning and trying to just make it. Thankfully, they got the spinal block taken care of and got surgery started. I was a lot more alert this time and I was scared too. I hated the thought of them cutting me open,through 5 layers of tissue. Tammy was in there with us. She was my "sister" for the time being. Mike was right there with me too. The guy who did the spinal was funny and kept me laughing a lot. I realized I was tired,but I never went to sleep,it wasn't like it was with Daniel. Then, I heard a cry and I knew my baby was okay! They all told me I had a linebacker! I knew he was big,but not sure how big. He was 9 lbs 10 oz and 22 inches long. Not eating sweets and drinking sodas constantly didn't help him,but it sure helped me! I think I'll just have big babies,which is fine with me,as long as they are healthy! It took them awhile to sew me back up. I did remember with Daniel it went faster,so I was praying nothing was wrong. The head Dr. doing the surgery,Dr. Brooks, ticked me off too. She asked us if we were planning on having more children? I thought that's an odd question. We told her we weren't sure,but ultimately God was the only one who knew. She said, "If you do,you need to come in at 39 weeks for a scheduled c/s and do not labor at all." I told her I would do it all over again just the same. She then said "Don't do it while I'm here then." Okay,how rude. She didn't say anything about why she said that obviously I guess they have to wait till later? They finally finished with the surgery and moved me to the recovery room. I got to see Aaron while they were sewing me up. He looked just like Daniel did,it was unreal!! He was definitely a chunk too! He was hungry too,I kept telling him that Momma was going to feed him. Once we got to the recovery room,Cindy and Tammy finally got him latched on. He fed for an hour and 15 minutes! The downhill slide started here. I'll stop here and continue with another entry on the stay and days following. I am very glad the interventions are available,but I did not think I would need it this time. God has been healing me and I'll talk about that too. I'm glad Aaron got the benefit of labor and wasn't rushed off to have oxygen b/c of meds I put in my body. He was perfect when he came out,with a perfect color. I know I did my best and God has reasons for some things. Like I told Him the other day, the only thing I can say is this is for Your Glory,though I do not understand. It's been very emotional mentally,almost more than I could handle. Without Mike and Tammy being able to talk with I would be a basket case. I may never know why I could not vaginally birth my 2 boys though I feel it is the best way and the way God intended. All I can do is say okay God You know best and bring glory to Yourself through this. How will He? I have no clue. Maybe I can minister to women who want a vaginal birth,but don't get them. I do know I am thankful I have Aaron here and he is very healthy. I love Daniel and Aaron so much and I would do both labors all over again just for them. Like one song says, "I don't understand Your ways,but oh I will give You my pain. Cause with it You are drawing me closer,drawing me into Your ways."